Okay well I'm not really in the mood for an in depth post.
I will be gong to Ros Parents for Christmas and spending 7 days away from home which concludes with going to Liverpool for new years !
My Aunt very sweetly has agreed to keep an eye on the chillas and care for them whilst I'm away! else I would have stayed behind to care for them!

Today is a very sad day for me and I'm sure it always will be! the pain gets easier to manage as the years go by but its still there as strong as ever.
I think about you ever day and I'm so sorry I never got the chance to meet you and that you never got the chance to giggle or smile or to enjoy the wonderful things that this world has to offer. But I'm pleased you never have to suffer the terrible things this world also has, the suffering that many people, many small people just like you go through everyday and never know true happiness! I'm forever grateful that you will never know that pain.
But that doesn't stop me missing you every single day that we do not spend together. I hope your safe and happy were ever you may be and I know in my heart that one day we will meet. Until that day...I love you....

Well I'm going to carry on aimlessly doing things in the hope to keep my mind occupied and stop me from getting all crazy upset having just started to get over the depprestion I really dont want to topple back over the edge again.

Ro playing with wilfie (my aunts puppy)
And a scary dinasur at the natural history museum in London!there just random videos as I was testing out my YOUTUBE acount I will put the ones I intended to show as soon as ive found my other camera memory card!Peace and love to the turkeys! (think of the turkeys in this dificult turkey time!)

Weekend catch up

Right well! here we are another week starting!
And only 14 days till Christmas :S were has the time gone!
I can't deny that I'm excited about Christmas it is a really wonderful time of year especially when all your wrapping and buying is done and all you need to do is make some mince pies on Christmas eve and buy 6 (AA) batteries !
I'm sorry that sounds terribly smarmy! :S I do still need to write loads of cards and get some decent photos of the festivity of our home!
Rowans promised to take me driving around were his Mum lives on Christmas day night so we can see all the pweety lights! and I cant wait I feel like a little kid!
I also cant wait to see the faces of my family when they open there gifts I only wish I could see what My little brother and sister think of there's but they will be back home by Christmas day :( I just hope they have a wonderful day regardless!
On the heating front the plumber told my Nan it was going to cost at least £2220 so my Nan said she wants to check a few other companies first just to make sure she is getting a good offer and to make sure they aren't cowboys!!! (to much "nightmare" t.v I think!) anyway at least we are getting nearer to having a heated house!
I also now have a completed and alright c.v so I can start to find a nursery that will have me for £80 a week!
Oh and Ro gave me a huge huge Christmas card :D It was so sweet! (last year my best friend of the time had to take him out and made him buy me one because he wasn't going to and she wasn't having that!!!)
Oh and Ive just come across a blog! I absolutely love! I have read Rsm's blog for a little while now and find it highly entertaining ! and from her blog I have now found troll-baby which is just about the greatest! together they make things just that bit more bearable! with there funny little anecdotes and heartwarming stories !
well I suppose that just about rounds things off for today!
peace and love to the turkeys!!!

The view today! same trees and sky in August!
Okay well I got the apprenticeship!!! yaay wooo! and as long as I find a placement by the 21st of February then there are no problems!!! I'm so thrilled I really am!

I will work Mondays-Thursday probably 8-6 and then I have a day release for the Friday so I can do the nvq and key skill work and other such things.

I will get 20 days holiday and £80.00 a week wages

I will have to work 5 days a week over the summer "holiday" :P and half terms are up to the placement

I had to get up at 5.55 and I have to say now it was the hardest thing ! omg it was so cold and I'm terrible if I don't get enough sleep I feel sick and have a headache and tend to fall over a lot and bump in to stuff lol:P

But it was the easiest was to get to the town centre if I got a lift with my nan it did mean id be there two hours early but I got to sit in the restaurant and drink hot choc and read some info on nursery work that might impress them and also read another few chapters of captain Corelli's mandolin.

The interview was about an hour and a half long as we were told stuff about the apprenticeship and then had to do two 20 min tests which were fairly easy and my results were fine so that's good :)

Anyway we also have the boiler man coming tonight... which to most people wont seem like to much... but to us it means...... HEATING!!! finally I just can't wait... to be honest non of us can its so nice to know we will have heating before it gets any colder which of course it wont do now we will be having heating :P

I brought the present yesterday for my secret Santa recipient and hopefully it will be here by Tuesday.. Oooooh and Ros last present FINALLY! made an appearance !!! thank goodness!

Rock on Holey Cords! (was an acident btw:P)

Yes! I rock a snoopy d/g... arent you green with envy:P

WHAT??!!?? (not everybody has a pile of coal in there back yard :O....) your so missing out :P

Well today I got a phone call from the people who I'm applying for an apprenticeship with to say I have an interview tomorrow at 9! I'm so nervous the next 15 months of my life rest on the outcome of tomorrow and I have never to date done an interview so that just adds to the stress.
I'm trying to get everything together and look up on things I guess they will want me to say,but lord alone knows if I'm anywhere near right! I suppose I will just have to wait and see but I've never been that patient!
anyway in other news :P today I find out who my secret Santa subject is ! ha ha ha more fool them :P but of course I wont be telling the Internet till after Xmas else well duh it wont be a secret!
well there will be more later bye bye!

Bra straps,burns and bed socks (How romantic :P)

Mmkay so here I am preparing a romantic meal for my dearest :P Ro!
And I thought why not get a little more "dressed" up than usual, so I did then I took a closer look at myself ....

And thought freaking classy! someone should really ban me from dressing myself! and cooking since that is how I achieved the burn... that really does look worse in real life !
Well I'm planning on taking some more pictures later to make up for the three appalling ones so far

must dash though Ive got a romantic meal to stop from burning :P


Well we are now done eating! lol looks like my aims for it to be long and romantic are not shared by other dinner guests :P (ie Rowan) but at least the food was yummy! and I did get some more pictures though Ro did threaten to sue me if I put them up but hey hes just turning American on me :P

Trippy tree! A rather demonic looking Ro!


Much less scary Ro :S I always photograph so bad!


Well at least Ro looks more relaxed in this though I still look terrible!

Oh and I dont actually have a double chin :s though I do look like I have around 50 :S yesh Its better when im behind the camera!

Woah its been so long since I ventured back to my little plot of web! how terribly cruel of me!
Okay well Ive been to see two very different films since I last wrote here, the weekend before last I went to see the latest James Bond instalment with Ro who was rather eager to see it! and I was dubious about to say the very least, I had not ever seen a Bond film as there really not my thing and to be quite honest the opportunity never really arose!
And I kinda wish I hadn't bothered with this one, if you enjoy Bond then Rowan says it does fill in the gaps but is lacking plot a bit, but all in all is a good film. I though it was crummy and fell asleep twice ..oops but hey at least it had two different Aston martins in it! and Aston Martins are the best car ever ever ever ! so that made it more bearable lol!
The the weekend just gone we went to see "flushed away" which both of us laughed a lot to and thought it was great! next on my list is saw 3 and the holiday!
Anyway I have spoken to the college campus leader and we have decided together (mainly him) that perhaps it is not in my best interest to carry on this year and should go for this apprenticeship he even promised to right me a shining statement so I can't really ask for much more than that. I am sad to no longer really belong anywhere but pleased to have things more sorted! and I do still pop in to see the guys so its quite nice really!
can't believe how near Christmas is getting! I'm actually starting to really look forward to seeing my siblings! and smelling the tree smell! but a little apprehensive about new year and going to Ros Mums for Christmas I really struggle to keep a hold of my emotions and I don't like the thought of it all getting out of hand there are going to be so many other people there its gonna be hard I still don't like being around huge amounts of people but there lovely people so fingers crossed!
oh and I wrapped all my nans presents that she had brought for everybody I even wrapped one for myself :S lol there is something not quite right about that!
anyway I suppose id better publish this ! and I will add some pics as soon as I can get some batteries for the camera!
this song totally rules btw I only found it today but Ive owned it for 2 years :S
Mysteries
God knows how I adore life
When the wind turns on the shores lies another day
I cannot ask for more
When the time bell blows my heart
And I have scored a better day
Well nobody made this war of mine
And the moments that I enjoy
A place of love and mystery
I'll be there anytime
Oh mysteries of love
Where war is no more
I'll be there anytime
When the time bell blows my heart
And I have scored a better day
Well nobody made this war of mine
And the moments that I enjoy
A place of love and mystery
I'll be there anytime
Mysteries of love
Where war is no more
I'll be there anytime

Its such a beautiful song and the music is really haunting ! not at all like what I usually listen to !